Liquid Drops Of Laughter~

For the last three days, it has been a torrential downpour of precipitation on the islands of Hawaii. Rain, rain, rain…and more rain. The first day I awoke to the pitter-pattering of scattered showers across my windowpane…and it was lovely. I laid my head down that evening to a lullaby of moonshadowed mists. Just divine.

The second day I awoke to the dew-drenched lawn; lush with fresh green patches nurtured by the previous day’s deluge. I drank in the moist air, grateful for the welcome change from our usual 24/7-sunshine. By mid afternoon, when all my errands were done, I nestled into my peacechair and napped amid the tender aquatic trill. The day trickled into night, which found me duck-diving into my pillow, submerging myself deep beneath the ocean of droplets, tap dancing across my dreams. Just perfection.

This, the third day, I am rudely rousted from bed by the earth-shattering thunder which now rattles my rooftiles—giving the house I live in what appears to be a heaving tummy ache-- it grumbles and groans under the onslaught of “nausea,” which the waves of rain have no doubt induced. I stagger to the windowpane, met by a menacing streak of lightning –its crash and subsequent splinter of light the only brightness to be found. Where has that sun gone, anyway? I open the door to retrieve the morning paper…only to see the mangled heap of a pre-recycled, inkblot-covered, paper mache puddle staring up at me in its place. * Nice *

I retreat inside and ransack my closet, rustling around in the back until I find my dusty raincoat. *ZIIIIIIIIP *…..Mad dash to the mitsubishi….and I am on my way. Having not been to the store in almost three days leaves an already meager cupboard quite bare, so off to the store we go. I pull into the deserted parking lot (I mean, really…what kind of IDIOT goes out on errands on a day like THIS?) I cut my engine and begin my breathing exercises I have been learning at my granola-cruncher yoga classes….center—center—“I am ONE with the earth…the wind, the rain, the sun, the moon,…the wind, the rain…OH-WHO-AM-I-KIDDING?!?!?!?” Bugger! CLICK---SCRAMBLE---SLAM…slop, splish, splash, skid….and I am IN!

Let’s see: Hummus (check) Baby Carrots: (Check) Bananas (Check) Soy Milk (Check) Coffee (Oh HELL YES, GOT it!) ….bleep, bleep, bleep, scan, scan, cha-ching… "That’ll be (a-whole-heck-of-a lot-more-than-I-should-have-spent) dollars, Miss.” I exhale slowly, and hand over the moolah, then brace myself for the mad dash ahead. GO, GO, GO…making it to the red wagon in record time, we go!

At home I decide to run my perishables in first, then come back for the other groceries, like usual. SLAM! Round one dash…go go go! I charge to my front door, and reach for my keys….my keys….my…KEYS?!?!?!?! As the rain continues to pound down mercilessly on my head, I realize I have locked myself out of BOTH my house AND my car….all in one foul swoop. And the prize goes to….YEAH… * Huzzah *~

My shoulders slump, I want to scream…I want to hit something…I feel angry…I want to shout some scrabble up in here! (four letter words, with triple word scores, ya’ll!) I clench my fists…this bedraggled , traumatized Tinkerbell…and open my mouth to release my fury to this d**ned deluge…EEEEEYYYYYAAAAHAHAHA…HAHA….HAHA…HAHA….HA...

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ha. Ha.

Ha.

As my shoulders begin to shake…my whole body reeling with the release of it all…I realize I am laughing. Not quite hysterically…yes, perhaps a small bit scary (for the neighbors at least)…but no…this was therapy.

I raised my face to the (now gently kissing) silvery drops of liquid laughter…and unleashed all the pent up everything…

And on this third day, I, too, am risen again~

Beat Down, Blocked, and Bouyed...all in the Course Of A Day~

It was a rough day. One of those days when you feel like you are floundering. Not quite drowning, yet…but more like paddling endlessly…flailing arms…kicking feet…fruitlessly afloat (barely)….floundering.

Woke up just like any other normal day…in Paradise, nonetheless…and was just peachy. Got in my car…and set out. Had myself a little gameplan for a simple Sunday, and off I went.

Halfway down the road, that cellphone (oh yes, that cell phone) buzzes. Bzzzzz….Bzzzz…Bzzzzz. I thought of letting it go to voicemail (as any of you who call me will I am sure be completely shocked by…) but at the last second, snatched it up to find out what was going on in the world. The faceless, bodyless, voice informed me of an optional change of plans for my day…and boy did it sound great! Now I had a dilemma. I, being a creature of (beloved) habit, relish my routine. I mean really, really love the constancy of cyclical days and a peaceful, predictability. Yes, yes I do.

But this opportunity seemed too good to pass up, so I rearranged my day around it. Much of the morning was spent in anticipation of the event (which was set to occur in the afternoon). I was practically abuzz with excitement. I drove to the complete other side of the island, looking forward to the outing. I got there a bit early and waited…and waited….and waited. I tried to busy myself with reading my book. * It was so hot * Then I decided to write a blog post * I didn’t have my computer in my car, would you believe it? * And then I grasped for straws as I resorted to ye olde standby: taking a nap on the beach *Dang. Did I mention it was hot today *….

After almost two hours of this, and still waiting to hear from my rendezvous arranger, I was “over it” (as I often seem to be lately…moody as a cheap ring from an 80’s bubble gum machine). My patience was wearing thin (my shoes would have been too, from the pacing to and fro, had I been wearing any). My skin was growing red (my face was growing red…irish temper, you know). My eyelids were getting heavy (alongside my heart)….and I was (you guessed it)…over it~

Embracing the sneaky suspicion that I had been either completely forgotten, or worse, forsaken, I turned the key in the ignition, put the pedal to the floor, and got the heck out of there. My house was calling. My heart was in need of the healing balm of home…the gentle sway of my peacechair, the familiar beats of my Itunes flowing, and (most importantly) the door firmly closed against the world and all the drama, drain, and hurt that could possibly touch me “out here”. The entire drive home I was consoling myself that this is the comfort I would find within those four walls, and that in this…I would make it through this day intact.

But before I could get to that door, in order to close this mean, scary world out…I had to step over a package….on my porch…addressed to me…and it was BIG. I literally had to pick it up, and physically move it aside just to make it into my house. I opened it…and unleashed the no-holds-barred fury of love. It assaulted my every sense: Straight slapped me in the face with familiar friendship; Filled my nostrils with the scent of solidarity and support; thrilled my eardrums with the melody of mothers’ love (biological and otherwise); renewed my vision with images of light and laughter; and as I devoured it all…its taste was sweeter on my lips than any honey imaginable.

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Yep. It was a sh**ty day (sorry, it just was). All I wanted to do was get home and shut out the world..lick my wounds…and start again tomorrow. God, in His abundant mercy, grace (and sense of humor, perhaps?) made this impossible for me to do…without first going through (literally and figuratively) an obstacle course of goodness…*trumped again by the Big Guy, it would appear*….but not complaining~

Giving Up~

I am tired today,

And I am quitting:

-Giving up to give up

-Giving way to the giving way

-Yielding—to the right of way—to today.

May I be strong enough…one day…this day…today:

To distinguish, then relinquish…lies

Extinguish anguish---stop the ambush

Release reality….free fantasy….restore the refugee

Promote possibility.

Go gypsy~

Flow me.

Breathe.

From dark-to-dawn, may daybreak…

then sunrise-to-sunset…reset…be met…and let……let…

go~

GO~

Awaken an aurora….rise with a vision…pen some rhyming rendition…

One pen shouting, ink screaming, soul shrieking, literary libation…

Drink it in…liberation.

Swallow it whole…salvation.

Let’s have a toast… “To emancipation”~

* Tink *