~Anablepo~

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When I was a little girl I had green eyes.

The color of jade-d complacency....

Envious was eye.

Jealous because I did not see

Eye, did not see you.

So fixated was eye on the dream, the desire, the demand

to be daddy's little girl.

the center of your world.

To sit upon your knee.

Have you gaze adoringly upon me.

Daddy, am I pretty? I inaudibly ask.

Begging and pushing as I twirl and try.

Attempting to gain your outward affections.

Hug me! Sit me on your knee! Tell me I make you happy!

Let me know I am pretty....that you love me.

Like Natalie's daddy. Or Sarah's Poppy...

So fixated was I on the daddy I thought you should be.

I spent my days angry,

Blind to the beauty...the blessing.

My visions obscured by an emerald-hued haze.

I have grown now...

The mirror reveals a warrior, blue-eyed and brave,

The golden ringlets and dimpled cheeks,

now straightened and thinned....broken along this road

adapting to the environment.

Earning a beauty all their own,

No longer the pretty little princess looking for the perfect daddy,

Eye now see,

All along, you were right in front of me.

Daddy,

Your road was not easy.

Childhood was not kind.

Affection, not often offered,

never came easily.

Yet in so many other ways,

you showed me.

Love.

Protection.

Provision.

Ours has been a long and winding road.

I have misunderstood.

Put words in your mouth that you never uttered.

Miscommunication.

Missed communication.

Now, wisdom and age helps me to change the outcome:

Daddy, do you know I love you? I audibly ask.

Blessing and praying as I reach out and no longer deny,

The importance to me of your outward affections.

May I hug you? Will you sit with me awhile? Are YOU happy?

You are beautiful to me....and I see you love me...deeply...imperfectly.

Like MY daddy~