This year, in a huge last minute miracle, I was able to fly
home to where I grew up for the first time in several years. To say that I was
looking forward to this journey would be a gross understatement. The night
before I was packing...and unpacking....and repacking until my eyelids were as
heavy as the carry on I was attempting to jam full of items, determined as I
was to not be paying the check-in fee. *Yes dad, I did you proud...Navy rolling
and ridding the loot of all "frou frou" girly items....weeding out
the wants and only keeping the necessary bare bone basics...I succeeded in
squeezing all supplies for the holiday season into one *snug* suitcase. Bam!
1) Packing: check.
Now came the goodbyes....to my new neighbors, my uncles and
aunties, my friends and roommate....and nary a fast forward button in sight. Powering through the
emotional gauntlet that is coming and going, leaving behind and heading
towards....transition and change in routine (shudder)...I bravely bent my face
towards the eastern shores....only slight sniffles sneaking slyly to the
surface...at least until the car door was closed and the calmness my melodic Joni
Mitchell joined me in my muffled "girl moment." *Sigh*...I'm gonna
miss this place...
2) Ripping off the band-aid of bye-byes: check.
Getting to the airport was yet another feat. From frazzled
future in-laws, to not so neighborly neighbors, one by one the list of possible
chauffeurs was exhausted. The bus began to look like the only option....and
enter Orr....crazy, brother Orr. Sardined into the benchseat of his
rat-a-tat-truck (that I do love oh so well!), we rolled down the road and
headed towards Honolulu...complete with a splendid soundtrack that only Orr and
Ari could provide.
3) Arrivin' in Style (or at least with some Swaggah): check.
Flight one to Phoenix....no drama to discuss....a shame to
be sure....oh how I love the drama, mama~ Smooth skies and shoulder to shoulder
with some sunflower munchin' hippies who were going to be happy no matter what
life threw at them that day, I'd say that was a scha-weeet seating assignment
for leg one.
4) Fairy to Phoenix: Check.
Now this is where the excitement begins. Arriving to the
terminal where I am to change flight towards Charlotte--and then straight into
the sugar-spun, sparkly sweetness that is my Southern mama---I head directly to
my gate with just a few seconds to spare. Bounding for the boarding tunnel I
flash my fair(i)est smile at the stewardess, reach into my pocket and pull out
my pass for paradise...HOME...yes, that's right....I am heading
home...to....PHILADELPHIA???
Hmmm...the words read Philly but this lil missy means Mecklenburg...as
in the county...you know, with CHARLOTTE as its queen? Deep breath...digging in
the heels....and making a break for it, I became the ridiculous rendition of
every cheesy classic Hollywood movie made...you know, the one with the mad dash
for the last minute monumental making of the flight? *Complete with dramatic
hand gestures and a few choice words, which honestly may or may not have
consisted of a mere four letters, of course.
5) Final Flight Found: Check.
Aboard the aircraft, gratitude didn't begin to describe my
giddy heart and spirit. Just three more hours and I am soooooo there. Sweet
Southern Simplicity....and such hugs and kisses and love abounding...yes
please! I settle into my seat and wait for the wheels to lift off and whisk me
away...and wait...and wait....and...what the heck? One hour later--thrilling
times chilling on the tarmac....I am still waiting. Most days this would be
mildly annoying and slightly frustrating as I am so excited and ready to be
home. But today, my seat buddy beside me just so happened to be the most
unhappy, woe-is-me-woman I have ever met.
Aaaaaaand...cue the:
*All too audible sighs.
*Exasperated emotional outcries.
*Temper tantrum only tolerable in toddlers (if then!)
and....
wait for it.....
*Alligator Tears (yes...you heard me).
I was actually waiting for the broken pottery chards and self-extracting
of hair by the root....I mean, this was some stressful stuff--this departure
delay. And on Christmas Day too. *SIGH!!!* *Head shake* *Shoulder Slump* *Fist
to the sky in fury and (self) righteous indignation!!!!**
I know woe-is-me-woman...you have made it clear! This is
unacceptable! You are displeased! The inner wounded-woman-child has been
angered...or at least spanked silly.
As I take in the show....Oscar worthy I assure you...all I
can think of is how very much I simultaneously want to run as far the hell away
from this broad as I can....and yet also, inexplicably, at the very same time....desire
to wrap my arms around her in the biggest bear hug...because DAYUUUUM....her flight is being
delayed....but not by the airline....
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