Dear B,
I must apologize if you were confused by my beehavior this last week. I did not mean to send you mixed messages. I had heard of your reputation from your godmother, and she just sang your praises. I couldn’t wait to meet you. But then I also have experienced others of your kind, and have felt the sting when things have gone awry. Forgive me, for I was afraid.
I visited you…journeyed far to your home, and all the while great anticipation filled my heart. I wanted (and still want) to learn all there is to know about you, and here was my chance. When I first heard your voice…I was mesmerized…the vibration of your lilt lulled my senses and I knew right then…you were something special. Your scent took my breath away…a rich, earthy aroma…one I have never known before….I can’t quite find a word deep or wide enough to embody the fragrance of your form. It is just…magical…it leaves me finding myself leaning forward always, on an endless search for the wind to carry the wonder of you back to me…desiring an ever-stronger scent to fly to me forever.
I listened to your voice from a distance for several moments, and I basked in the balmy, heady haven of your aromatic essence…I drank you in…but dared not come closer. I can tell you speak a different language than my own native tongue. I cannot place the origin of your homeland…or else I would run and read every book I could find, if it lead me to a translation of your truth(s). But no, you are not conversing in common English, nor do you talk in Turkish, or a romantic European dialect. Yours is an ancient tongue of old, and I long to hear it more and more....that I may speak with you fully, and understand what you would whisper in my ear. I have an inkling that this is a language I cannot study per se, and one unmarked by time or space…but rather an eternal awareness of its always being….HERE, and known... somehow. I await the whispers to make sense to me…and until they do, I will sit in stillness…coming ever closer…to hear them clear as bells. Bells ringing in my ears…buzzing through my brain….healing my heart.
Next time, I promise to come closer…I will fight the fear, put away the preconceived….and sit with you awhile~
2 comments:
When I saw the movie "Queen of the Sun", there were a lot of beekeepers in the audience. I remember one of them saying that they felt like the essence of bees was joy and that the emotional state you were in when you worked with them was important ...that they were more likely to sting if they sensed anger. I'm scared of them, too & wish I wasn't. I've realized I get angry more than I used to. I remember another thing the movie mentioned was that out of all the plants that need to get pollinated (some that even smell like rotting meat)and all the various insects that do it, the bees like the same plants we like.
I haven't seen that one yet, Merfy, but now I have it on my list for sure.
I believe that the essence of bees is, indeed, joy...and a peace--one that interestingly enough seems (to my untrained eye) to come directly from ordered days and constant communication within their clan. It seems as if they have come to the awareness of a system that "works" and is fluid and flows for them as one unit...as I watch them I find I am envious in my heart of hearts deep down...for why can't humans seem to be so fluid with our own kind? And flow~ I love you Merfy Jane. Thanks for sharing. Especially about the sensing anger (that bees do)...I feel this, and I understand you...I get more angry at times lately too...but a quiet anger it seems...and mostly focused towards myself I know...and it is an anger born of fear, I feel this...and this, I believe is really what the bees are sensing in me...the fear...and I do believe they want to help...I am looking forward to knowing them and learning their ways very much~
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