Yesterday I woke up, planning on meeting up with Ari for an early AM tennis match. Any of you who know me, know I cherish my mornings, sacrificing copious amounts of sleep, all for the sake of never missing one single, sparkling sunrise. For me, I guess, it’s the symbol of starting everything afresh, a brand new beginning of one 24 hour cycle of possibility….an open hand just waiting to be filled, and held. There is something sacred about rising while the rest of the world is still asleep…reveling in the wonder of a new day’s dawning, and simply renewing hope…intentioning goodness beneath the shadow of the sun’s warm rays bursting forth—beckoning you to come, and live. Yes, mornings are my favorite friends.
I told Ari I would meet him after the sunrise, making my way to my local coffeeshop and picking up a cup o’ joe to go. As I sat waiting, I delighted in the sole company of my thoughts, the cool breeze of the early morning, and the lulling ebb and flow of the ocean’s waves. I have realized I like alone time….I believe I need it more than others I know. In fact, at times when I find it scarce or hard to come by in my life, I find myself physically aching to just get back to that solitude, that shelter of serenity and solace, found only (for me at least) when I am truly alone, breathing and being myself. I do not worry about what my countenance looks like, no words need be spoken, and the silence is sweet, and sustains me for the times to come, when the din and clamor of the world become a cacophony almost unbearable to my senses. THIS is what makes my days…aloha subtle sunrise. I see you peeking over the horizon, and I welcome you to this day…do stay for awhile.
Filled, I make my way to Ari and we head to the tennis courts, fully prepared to beat the crap out of each other (with love, of course). I am excited, this is one of the few activities we seem to really like doing together, and otherwise we do our own things and meet up when we can…so this was going to be a rare treat. We pull up to the park, anticipation filling our hearts…only to find the courts closed for maintenance! BOOOO. I am bummed, because I know this was a small window of time I had to share with Ari before we both had to go to work and the day set into full swing. I plan on going hiking instead, and Ari decides to come along. So any of you who know me (again) will also know I very much like going hiking ALONE. I treasure the time just me versus the mountain, testing my strength and climbing, climbing, climbing…listening to that mountain…tell me what I’m made of…and what it’s all about. So for me to go with Ari was already a miracle in itself. I wondered how it would be, but was happy he wanted to share time, so off we went.
We got there and the minute we got out of the car and the trail lay open before us, I felt the adrenaline surging, the effervescent energy that always comes with being outdoors in the sunshine bubbling up within me, and I felt breathless and giddy with the thought of what joys lay ahead! I wanted to go, go, go! Woo hoo! As we set off, and were talking, I realized I was already nosing ahead, like a wild horse who’s just been bridled for the first time and isn’t sure she likes it, but still wants to have that connection with the new owner….so she submits to the temporary discomfort, trying to learn the new ways. Ari, bless his beautiful heart, felt this…and knew his peaceful pace of meandering through the wilderness (which provides him with the utmost joy) is a bit of a snoozefest for his fairy companion…who wanted to fly away fast, and free. He urged me ahead and gave me the green light to simply GO.
And I did.
I went. And ran. And reveled in the beauty. And giggled and oohed and ahhed at the wonder of it all. Free to go at my own pace, I climbed, climbed, climbed…the crisp mountain air filling my lungs. My heart beat faster and faster, and I laughed….alone on top of that towering mound of earth, I melted into the most rich and full hysterics…of happiness. And I thanked God for friends and loved ones, who know me, and allow me my "eccentricities" of individuality, and echo my exultant cry from man to woman to fairy to warrior….from milkman to lawyer to JHi and Pdizzle and Good N’ Plenty (or M&M or whatever his name is)… "Vive Le Difference.”