Interesting morning already, and it is only 8 30 AM. Brings much to think about. Perspective to me is always an amazing thing. Today I woke early * especially for not having the morning shift at the Gallery * and decided To cruise into town to get some coffee before a run. I never like to park and leave money around, or have to carry it with me, so I grabbed just enough for my soy yogurt, Powerbar and coffee…and I was on my way!
As I pulled up to the store, I ran in glancing at my watch…thinking I had plenty of time it’s gonna be a great morning! As I poured my coffee I let my mind wander to all the beautiful things I would see on my hike. I was already itching and ready to go go go. I felt a (non too gentle!) Tap... (more like a smack) on my shoulder, followed by a booming voice…it bellowed “ HEY LADY! YOU GOTS TEN CENTS FO’ A COFFEE FOR A SISTA? “ As I reached down to wipe up the coffee I had just spilt all over the counter (I did say BELLOWED? Right?) , I turned to see the smallest little peep of a woman child staring UP at me with these huge (yes, bloodshot red) almond eyes.
As I opened my mouth to tell her” N-to the “eff”-O!,” I realized I technically DID have it…and then some. I set my coffee down, and refilled what was now her cup of joe…asking her how she liked it fixed. She eyed me suspiciously…then after a moment of sizing me up, apparently deemed me sincere and proceeded to tell me exactly how many sugars and creamers she desired…”*AND DON’T YOU GO FO’GET DA LITTLE BITTY STRAW, EH? IT’S MO’ BETTAH THAT WAY!* “ Alright. Sheesh.
So, coffee in hand she stares impatiently at me as I head down the aisle to grab my yogurt and Powerbar. I get halfway down the aisle as she shrieks…”SHO’ IS NICE THAT YOU GETTING SOME BREAKFAST IN YO’ BELLY THIS MORNING, AIN’T IT SISTA?” Shoulders sag….Enter realization that THIS is a perspective moment…a pono opportunity in the making that I REALLY REALLY am not “feeling” exactly. I stop, turn and backtrack to the woman. Okay, lady, I have 6 dollars exactly. You have just burned up one with the coffee…leaving “US” with five for breakfast. How would you like to spend it? I handed over the bills. She greedily grabbed the green and sped away down the aisle out of sight. “I’ll just meet you at the register” I half-heartedly muttered/ offered up to the ether.
Three minutes later and around the corner she spins, wide grin on her face. Hands full. She plunks down a hot breakfast burrito from the deli, a spam musubi, two hard boiled eggs, her cup of coffee, and a freckled, bruised midget banana from the “penny bin”. “*We GONNA PAY CASH SISTA!*” the woman proudly announces to the cashier. The cashier (as she is ringing up “our” morning feast) keeps trying to catch my eye…I avoid it on purpose and try to act natural. She finishes ringing up the items and, as she is taking the bills, grabs the lady’s hand and says “ISN’T IT NICE OF AUNTY TO PAY FOR YOUR BREAKFAST?”…the woman shrugs her shoulders and grabs her stash and runs…I am left with a half-assed thank you wave via her rear view…and a crappy, rotting banana for the interchange. haha, oh boy
I look up and finally make eye contact with the astounded cashier. Who asks me if I realize I just paid 6 dollars for a rotten banana. “Yes.” I replied, still laughing at myself and the absurdity that I am sure this represented to her (and I must admit, even myself at that moment!) She went on to inform me, “You know, that lady begs off of everybody you know…she never work, and so she doesn’t deserve nothing...she hasn't earned it.” “Nope, I guess she hasn't "earned it" has she?” I replied…and FELT the smile for the first time that morning. AS I got in my car to drive away, STOMACH GRUMBLING, I realized the pono-moment wasn’t necessarily for the ungrateful woman who walked away with my breakfast in her belly…it was for me, and for that cashier…to think of what everyone deserves and doesn’t deserve, about "worthiness" and motivations…and perspective.
One of my favorite set of lyrics is by Songwriter Ani DeFranco…she says all that I could say “Mo Bettah”:
I do it for the joy it brings
because i'm a joyful girl.
Because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world.
I do it because it's the least i can do.
I do it because i learned it from you
and i do it just because i want to
because i want to~
May we all love and be loved not in proportion to what each “deserves” or has "earned"…because I sure want and need so much more love than that~
9 comments:
Thanks, Andy Beth. Perfect timing for me. Love you, girl.
Wow. Do admire your open perspective. But from my point of view, righteous acts deserve a good cause. When your generosity is being taken advantage of, your aloha most definitely won't be passed on.
I really am glad you left your comment Elle. I value your perspective. It really does make me revisit the connotations linked to the word (and concept of) "deserving." Deserve (as defined) literally means: "To qualify for, to be worthy of..." When I look at this definition, and span the vast ocean of humankind...I have to ask myself "Who ISN'T worthy of love and a good deed? Who WOULDN'T qualify for the right to have compassion and kindness shown, regardless of whether they accept that kindness, or yes, even appreciate it?" I rack my brain, remembrances of all the horrible people I have known...yet cannot find one that I (imperfect human among them) would dare say does not "qualify" or meet the standards for love. Just my thoughts...and thank you for yours...I welcome new insights and truths always...it keeps me learning as well, and is truly the spirit of pono...learning and walking through this life together~
Wow what insight! I am in awe of the brilliancy of your life...and maybe even a tad jealous :P
As for your thoughts, I very much agree. No telling what I personally would do or how I would react in situations like that, but I'd like to think it would be in love (hopefully in a way that it is best expressed).
Oh, I know you, Randy...*you would have even thrown in the rotten banana to sweeten the deal* :)
every passing moment is a chance ,at the least, make a difference in this world.
recognise your random act of kindness, and a little drama, as that of a balancing of this world.
there always has to be balance, ying to yang, positive vs negative ect..
your positve actions constantly, and daily, offset those of people comitting negative ones.
please dont be jaded.
i would have, have done, and will continue to do the same in the future.
all we can do is to treat everyone with kindness and love.
it's contagious you know.
she may not have voiced her appreciation to you, but i believe shedefinately remembers you fondly, and your actions. she probably told her "sista's " all about you and your kind actions.
keep on sparkling and glittering in the sun, please....
you may not be able to change the world in a single action, but we can make a dent.....
pono people rock!!
proud to be yor friend andy-beth!!
I know that lady - okay, maybe not that specific lady, but I got a bunch of students like that.
I was thinking about your comment on deserving - and it's interesting that deserving is what we think it is - as opposed to what that person deserves. Good food for thought.
You're right though - everyone deserves dignity.
Sooo good.
I think you should try telling customers like that something along these lines sometime:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1373/663392121_3e875d2199.jpg
whoa! I have to admit that last comment did bring a chuckle...*don't you know some days we all FEEL like saying something along those lines...* !
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