the Who

The more I read of Anne Lamott's book (overtly about how to write)...I am struck with the awareness that this book (for me) is more about how to LIVE. Listen to Lamott's description about plot and see if you do not agree:

"Plot is the main story of your book or short story..[...]...Plot grows out of character. If you focus on who the people in your story are, if you sit and write about two people you know and are getting to know better day by day, something is bound to happen.

Characters should not, conversely, serve as pawns for some plot you've dreamed up. Any plot you impose on your characters will be onomatopoetic: PLOT. I say don't worry about plot. Worry about the characters. " (Bird by Bird)~

As I read this, I was shocked to have a mirror held up to my own face. So many times in my own life, I worry about plot--my plot. I want to, like the writers (who are the majority I might add) that Anne Lamott warns against, sit down at my desk of life and pen my plot narration. I already know the background...to be sure, there are a few spots that I would gloss over and "tidy up" for the reading audience for starters. I then want to know the ending first...I want to know exactly what is going to happen so that I can plan for my story's timing and progression to "make sense." In my mind, if I know the ending, I can make everything in between fit perfectly...the rising action, the arc of the climax, the falling action, and the resolution...my plot (my life) all arriving at my (the author's) boxed conclusion and appointed destination (immaculately wrapped, and all tied up in a pretty pink bow, of course.)

Lamott is the first to open my eyes to the fact that I have it all wrong in these moments. The times that I am so preoccupied with what is going to happen in my life, coupled with my paralyzing preoccupation with the future and how it will unfold, many times causes me (just like many writers) to prematurely push my plot--leaving all actions feeling forced, ill-timed, and unauthentic--calculated, contrived and not to mention a huge amount of exhaustive work. These actions become the misguided byproducts of wasted energy-- of soul leeching toil and labor.

I am struck with the continued theme of patience that winds itself like a golden thread throughout Lamott's counsel regarding writing (and life (?))-- Patience with oneself (as the author and observer). Patience with the plot (as it unfolds in its own time). Patience with the characters (as WHO they are slowly (painfully even, at times) emerges, giving way to WHAT they will do/ accomplish). Patience with the process.

This last commitment of intentional patience is the one which strikes me the most. Patience with the process. Ponopeople--Our plots will be messy. They will most assuredly never turn out the way we had outlined in our first (or second, or even third!) drafts. The endings may have to be re-written. There will be times when we will have to backtrack, or press the pause button on the plot...go back and edit and fix some things before we can move forward towards the next chapter. All of this will seem to be a painfully slow and tedious process most of the time. But, to be sure, we will arrive with a complete book....a brilliant work of non-fiction--a poignant portrait of life and truth--of beauty, and the ugliness that often leads to it~ We will have round characters--characters made of flesh--characters who drive the plot, because of WHO they are...because of who WE are.

Write on, my friends...